We all understand what anger is, and we’ve all experienced it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.
Anger is a totally normal, commonly healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it may lead to troubles—troubles at work, in your personal relationships, and in the total quality of your life. And it may make you feel as if you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and mighty emotion.
Anger/rage is technically not an emotion; rather it’s a protective reaction to a sensed fear or threat. Let me state that again: rage isn’t truly an emotion; it’s a protective reaction to a sensed hurt or threat.
Consider it; have you ever gotten mad about something that on some level didn’t feel threatening to you? Somebody cuts you off, somebody tells you to do something you don’t wish to do, a loved one sounds out or does something that feels controlling or simply plain mean. All of these situations may be felt as threatening. And when threatened, our inherent aptitude is to protect ourselves or something really bad may happen to us. That‘s where anger, rage and aggression come in.
Believe it or not, if you control your anger properly, you might find that you have happier and fitter relationships. Positive control of anger may likewise build self-respect. If you’re able to tell somebody your feelings rather than holding them inside (note – I said ?tell-not –shout), you’re saying to them and to yourself, ?I’m a valuable individual and I expect to be addressed as such.
In my experience, rage is almost like an addiction in that individuals are really creative in discovering all sorts of rationales for their rage. From time to time it’s almost as though they’re in denial. Part of the reason for this is that they way our conduct appears on the inside may look a whole lot different to somebody on the receiving end of things!
I have an eBook “Stay Free With Rage Control” that may help you understand your anger a little bit more and get more from your relationships with people, your partner, even your boss and get the respect you deserve!
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